C109: As Long As They Have A Chest

Butter is a type of dairy product.

In short, it’s made of milk.

Milk is used as an ingredient in a variety of food and comes in many forms and names—butter, cheese, cream, yogurt, etc.

It’s an ingredient that I would love to have on my farm, but it hasn’t been realized to date.

Why?

It’s not because I deliberately want to save it for some other time. I’ve been trying to find a way to get my hands on it just like with every other ingredient, but haven’t had any luck.

I mean, you usually get milk from cows.

I’ve been on the lookout for a cow-type monster that produces milk, just like when I was looking for yoschamo to give us eggs. But as you can see, nothing.

I thought of the possibility of importing it from the Demon or Mermaid Kingdom, but the conclusion wasn’t exactly satisfactory.

Not only does milk spoil quickly, but food preservation technology in this world is also still in its early stages. Even if the latter weren’t true, the only way to transport milk all the way from the Demon Kingdom would be through teleportation magic. And the only person who knows the coordinates of the waypoints to get here is none other than the Demon King. Making him directly import milk for us is outright impolite, so the plan eventually fizzled out.

We have no one else trustworthy enough to tell these coordinates and act as our supplier.

The existence of our farm, let alone how to get here, is kept an absolute secret from the rest of the demons. Hence, letting a common supplier know about it is more than absurd. Supposing we did let them know, typical workers at the dairy farming industry most likely can’t use teleportation magic.

Incidentally, our suggestion was rejected from the get-go for the Mermaid Kingdom’s side. In exchange, I received a lot of oysters, which they call the “milk of the seas” from Prince Arowana. Fortunately, I didn’t get food poisoning even though I ate them raw. They tasted great, nevertheless.

But it still doesn’t make our current situation any better.

Hence, to this very day, milk has never been brought to our farm.

“The time has finally come for us to begin! For real!”

The spirits asked for butter, which provided us the perfect initiative.

We’re going to get our hands on milk this time, no matter what it takes!

“But to implement a constant supply of milk, we must get ourselves a dairy cow!”

“OH!!!”

Applauses were heard as I announced my decision.

“Butter! Butter!!!”

“Butte-te-te-te-te-ter!!!”

Even the spirits are rejoicing.

All right.

Now, how are we supposed to get ourselves a dairy cow?

I may have made a decision, but I still don’t have a plan.

Er, as a matter of fact, I do have a bit of a plan.

“How about we ask the Demon King to send us a cow?”

If we can’t get milk from them, then wouldn’t it be better to ask for its source, the cow?

I’m sure the Demon Kingdom does animal husbandry and pasturage, so if we pay them accordingly, their ruler can arrange something for us.

“Hold on, Dear…” utters Platy.

“Shouldn’t it work as long as we have breasts to milk?”

“Say what?”

She really had to say something outrageous.

Why the terribly misleading statement?

“Getting milk from cows is such a stereotypical idea!”

In the beginning, milk was produced by any mammalian creature. It was only cow’s milk that was chosen by industries because it is most efficient in terms of its quality and quantity per batch produced.

Even my world had sheep and horse milk aside from cow milk.

“I think that if we abandon that stereotype and consider more options, we might be able to get somewhere!”

You mean to say that, with that attitude in mind, we might find a dungeon monster that can produce delicious milk even if it’s not a cow?!

“That’s right, Dear! In fact, I already have a lead!”

“What?!”

How tactful of you, Platy!

Well then, let’s go find this unknown being who can give us delicious milk!

The plan of buying a dairy cow from the Demon King has already been outshone before I knew it.


“So, Veil.”

“What.”

“Give us milk!!!”

Platy bows her head to one of our friends, Veil, who is in the middle of sleeping in her human form.

“…Master, has this stupid mermaid finally gone nuts?”

“That’s not it…”

Is what I also want to believe, but how am I supposed to interpret this situation?

“What are you talking about? I know all about it, you know! I’ve figured out everything!”

“Figured what out?”

“That dragons can produce the best milk in the world!”

“Whaaaaaaaat?!”

I didn’t know that at all!

I mean, can dragons even make milk?!

They’re reptiles, no matter how you look at them…

Only mammals produce milk, so why not a mammal?

“…We have been told that dragon milk is this world’s best delicacy, and every gourmet craves it. Just by using it as an ingredient in your dishes will make your food so delicious, you’ll feel like you’re in heaven, Dear!”

That sounds a little too hard to believe.

Though, anything that comes from a dragon certainly gives you the impression that it’s of the highest quality.

Supposing dragons could really make milk…

Not only is ordinary milk no match for it, but apparently, one sip from it can give you immortality, a steel body that is invincible to any weapon, and give a double or triple boost to all your parameters…

“Veil.”

“Oh, Master. Teach this idiot a lesson or two, will you?”

“I ask of you, give us milk.”

“What the-?!”

Feelings of excitement suddenly surged within me.

I also want to take a sip of this illusionary dragon milk!

I joined Platy in persuading Veil.

“Please, Veil! Give us your milk!!!”

“Since you’re in your human form right now, milking should be easy for you, right?!”

“Yeah! Your human form is like a smooth plain or an iron wall so you’re never really sure whether you have them or…”

Or not. Veil is flat-chested.

“We’re sorry…”

“I don’t want your pity!!!”

Making Veil produce milk was futile.

There may be dragons out there that can produce milk, but she definitely isn’t one of them.

Contrary to my expectations, we were back to where we started.

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7 thoughts on “C109: As Long As They Have A Chest

  1. deadtoxic

    That’s not true… Laika and Flatorte would like to disagree with that statement… Lucoa, Tohru, Elma and Iruru glare at you…

  2. Kiki

    More precisely, mammals need a hormone to start production. However, as far as the two examples you gave are of course valid (and the most common), ignoring the ‘rare exceptions’ (which usually are due to illness), there are other ways that lactation can start.

    First, regular suckling on the breasts can and will eventually lead to the production of the hormone, and thus, production of the milk.

    Second, a spontaneous production can occur in women that are mentally prepared and intending to feed a baby, under some circumstances. This can be seen sometimes in women that adopt infants, only to find themselves to suddenly start leaking milk at some point. Although this is one of those ‘rare cases’, and cannot really be done on wish.

    But yeah. The only available method that does not involve pregnancy and can be done by anyone, anytime and anywhere, is simply stimulating the breasts frequently for a while (days to weeks, even…every few hours). Then again…it is both ‘cheap’ (I mean, can’t be cheaper than free)…and has no inherent ill effects on health etc.

  3. Rumes

    I don’t know about dragons but cows and other mammals have to have give birth first or injected hormones in order to produce milk. There are that produce even they are not but they are more like exception than the rule.

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