C123: Sacred Offerings

“All right! Here I go!!!” says Sensei as he readies himself.

Isn’t he a little too vigorous for a dead king?

I mean, he’s practically a living corpse…

I hope he hasn’t forgotten his raison d’etre. 

“Our corpse sure is full of life whenever it comes to God-summoning,” says Platy, also somewhat perplexed by Sensei’s contradicting existence.

“It seems Sensei has had this hobby of summoning gods for several hundreds of years now. The moment he remembers how fun it is, he becomes pretty energetic…”

Except that he also has to put himself in the shoes of the god he is summoning.

But even Sensei, one of this world’s most atrocious beings, understands the grave consequences of his actions, so he doesn’t just summon a god for his pleasure.

That’s why he’s delighted to be able to use an event like today as an excuse to actually do it.

“You can be just as casual with him as us, all right, Demon King?”

“I understand, but… this is The Lifeless King that we are talking about. I can’t possibly bother him for every little thing!”

Our earnest Demon King feels grateful but at the same time embarrassed.

“Huh? What’s going on?”

“Sensei is here… Are we going to have a festival?” 

Asks some of our farm residents, as they start gathering around as onlookers. 

“You weren’t here before to witness it the first time, so feel free to watch. Something amazing is about to happen.”

Puffer is trying to act like some big shot, but…

“Aw, come on, Miss Puffer. Don’t scare us like that.”

“Having a casual conversation with the Lifeless King is already impossible. What other bizarre event could there be?

“Yeah. I’m still afraid of Sensei, so I’m not yet used to being around him…”

The elves and the satyrs are looking cynical and acting carefree.

However, they will soon realize that there are things that can exceed one’s imagination in this world.

“Thee hath called?”

After Sensei succeeded in his ritual, Hades showed up.

He looks as dignified as ever with his thick beard.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Most of the people got spooked and ran away.

But please don’t think of this as a disrespectful act towards a god. 

This is how most people would react under a holy being’s intimidating presence.

“It has been a while, Your Mightiness.”

There goes our courageous veteran, Demon King, greeting a god normally without a stutter in his words.

Mrs. Astres and Mrs. Glasya also knelt down before Hades.

“Ah, if it is not the Demon King of this generation. How rare to seeth thee so oft.”

“As a demon, it is an honor to be graced with your presence more than once. I am both delighted and humbled. However, there is something I must report to you on this occasion…”

“About thee overthrowing Zeus’ children?”

“Were you informed?”

“I am a god yond the rules of this earth. There nay be a way I am oblivious to the happenings of the surface, especially so when it is something as significant as alteration of territorial boundaries. ”

“Pardon me.”

The Demon King bows even lower.

“If so, I would like to add something. The human king has put an end to his dynasty by acting in a way befitting of a true ruler.”

“It doth matter not.”

“Ultimately, bloodshed was no longer necessary. The human race also wants to rule together as the inhabitants of the demon kingdom and, by extension, the earth. I have come to seek an audience with you today to reiterate my vows.”

“How conscientious of thee. However, thou art the very first demon king yond hast defeated Zeus’ pesky children and claimed the mantle of full dominion o’re all the lands in the age of mortals,” says Hades with satisfaction.

“Thee may even name thyself ‘The Strongest Demon King in all of History’ now and evermore.”

“Such a title is too great of an honor,” responds the Demon King politely.

“Um… How about we stop the serious discussions here?” I intervene.

It won’t do us any good if the brusque atmosphere around them spreads throughout our farm.

“We have prepared an offering in celebration of today’s news.”

“Oh?”

It’s our very first offering despite having summoned him thrice already.

There is still significance in doing it now because we needed the necessary experience to come up with ideas.

“Hm, how admirable. What be thine plans of offering?”

“It is rice cooked with bamboo shoots.”

I offer the tray with a bowl of steaming rice to Hades, the God of the Underworld.

The bowl has bamboo shoots mixed with the rice, the same bamboo I’ve been cultivating in the mountain dungeon’s Spring Area. 

After mulling over which dish embodies spring the most, I figured that rice cooked with fresh bamboo shoots would be the best shot.

I offered the first batch that I made to Hades.

Not a bad idea, I suppose.

“Hm, an offering to the god of these lands? Tis yon oblation a befitting offering?”

On second thought, maybe it is a bad idea.

I should’ve prepared a more sumptuous meal.

“Am I to suppose thou art meant to consume it with this pairing of diminutive sticks?”

Hades was surprisingly good with using the chopsticks.

Wait, before that!

Allow me to prepare a lavish full-course meal for you!

But by the time I tried to stop him, I was too late.

Hades had already finished the entire bowl of bamboo shoot rice.

“…”

Hades put down his chopsticks and bowl and said:

“Bamboo shoot rice shalt be the food of the gods from this day forward.”

“Huh?!”

Why do I feel like it was suddenly authorized?!

“Um… With all due respect, having our precious spring specialty limited to gods is a little troublesome for us…”

“Worry not, for it shall not be limited to being only the food of the gods. Only someone as bigoted as Zeus wouldst display such petty avarice.”

W-What?!

“The reason wherein I authorize bamboo shoot rice to be the food of the gods is to simply praise it.  From henceforth, every being on earth shall shareth the bliss of eating bamboo shoot rice with the gods. It is a reminder to be grateful for the earth that nurtures and blesses thee with these bamboo shoots.”

I got the biggest praises I could ever get.

But is it all right? Making bamboo shoot rice is actually very easy…

“I wouldst like mine own wife, Demetersephone, to have some taste of this, so prithee do prepare a portion for herself as well.”

Oh, of course.

As Your Mightiness wishes.

“I’m sure your throat’s gone dry after your meal, so please have this to quench your thirst,” says Garra Rufa as she offers Hades some beer.

“Ah, wait…”

I didn’t have that planned.

Nonetheless, Hades took the large stein the elves prepared and guzzled down the beer.

“…I hereby declare beer as the wine of the gods.”

“HUH?!”

And so, the food of the gods kept increasing.


Incidentally, the bamboo shoot rice will restore your physical strength and magic once consumed.

The beer, now declared as the wine of the gods, can remove poison, paralysis, petrification, and other status ailments just by drinking it.

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4 thoughts on “C123: Sacred Offerings

  1. Shadow

    What’s funny is that beer actually contains everything needed to sustain life, but like everything else too much is bad and poisonous for one’s health.

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