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ITK C138: Gods’ Bill

12/06 update: sorry about that major blunder! what you read yesterday was actually the vanilla translation of this chapter. i’ve updated it now.

Thus, my farm temporarily became an “izakaya farm.”

Not just any izakaya, but an izakaya of the gods.
Is that a good thing or not? I don’t know either.

“My Lord! Medusa at table number three wants a rolled omelet with cod roe!”
“Tables two to five are requesting additional boiled daikon!”
“Additional kamaboko!”
“Here, too!”
“We don’t have enough sake, Garra Rufa!!!”

Orders keep coming in one after the other as I swing my pan in the kitchen.

“I’m on it!!! Also, can someone go to the storehouse and check if we still have ingredients?!”

Every single resident on the farm was busy.
The mermaids, as well as the demon duo Batemy and Belena, are running around as waitresses, the monster team goes to the fields and the mountains to get more ingredients, the satyr group keeps making milk, the elves are helping me with the cooking, while the earth spirits are on dishwashing duty.

Only Veil didn’t care about what was going on, sleeping like a log inside the house.

“…I has’t filled mine self to satiety ,” says one of the gods.

It’d kill us in ways more than one if you haven’t.
If they continued their feast, our farm would’ve lost all of its reserves.

“…My, t-that’s a relief!” says Sensei, the one who summoned the gods.

Even The Lifeless King was helpless against the divine group as he could only stand by and watch.

“This verily be the very first time we has’t taken such a fine offering. We certes have had our fill.”
“My blessings be upon this dashimaki tamago, I shalt now regard this as the food of the gods.”

“I also bestow the title of “the food of the gods” upon this yakitori.”
“I bless this beer, it shalt now be regarded as divine wine…”
“Unlucky for thee, but I hast already blessed it,” nonchalantly says the gods one after the other.

“Very well, I believe the time hast come for us to depart…”
“Indeed, but first, we shalt recompense the saint.”

A reward?

“Prithee, why such a surprised visage? Didst thou think that we’d partake our repasts for free and leave without offering our gratitude?”
“We be not unprincipled dotards like Zeus. We shall renumerate for the scrumptious and succulent meals thereupon we hast supp’d,” assure Hades and Poseidon, representatives of the rest of the deities.

Well, nothing would be better than getting rewarded for our efforts, I suppose…

“But with all due respect, it still comes to me as a surprise. I thought gods were more unreasonable than this.”
“Zeus is solely responsible for our infamy.”

Oh, I see.

“…I now declaim to all deities present here, I wouldst like to remind thee to never speak a word of this Elysium to Zeus.”

The gods unanimously agreed.

“If that gent finds out about this place, he will proclaim it as his exclusive sanctuary and declare dominion over it.”
“On top of that, that gent would vex the children of men and eventually extirpate everything.”
“To prevent that from happening, naught a word of this Elysium shalt be uttered before Zeus!”
“If he unearths information regarding this place, then we shall unite and beat him to a pulp!”

Being protected by the gods themselves is more reassuring than ever.

“Let us not get side-tracked. What we shouldst engage in talking about now is what kind reward to giveth our most wondrous saint.”
“Just so thee might apprehend, that gent hast already taken a gift from Hephaestus. Keepeth in mind to not break the gage of not giving more than one gift.”

Didn’t he also say that before?
Just what exactly is this “gage?”

“Long, long ages ago, Zeus bestowed upon the human race various blessings.”
“He excessively did give those folk protection, blessings, and holy armor without nary an end. As a result, the human race becameth as stout as the gods so that it began to disrupt the very balance of the world.”
“Those were verily tough times. Back then, the most wondrous hero of the human race gathered all the power that could be found and easily betrayed Zeus in a trice and did strive to overthrow us all.”
“The Three Realm Deities then did cooperate and managed to suppress him. They then established a gage, to not bestow too much power upon a single child to serve as a lesson henceforth.”

The more I listened to their story, the more it made sense.
A significant imbalance in power is indeed bad.

“Though we can nay bestow upon thee any further protection or blessings after receiving Hephaestus’ gift… Let’s propose, as compensation for thy generous offerings, we shall promiseth thee a bountiful harvest for the rest of the year.”
“That we shall.”

Holy light spread from the palms of Hades and Poseidon, outstretching their hands together.

“May I contribute next?” says the goddess with wavy, dark-blonde hair that shines like the surface of the sea shimmering in the setting sun.
“I am Amphitrite, wife of Poseidon. I hast been wondering for a while now, but thou art kin of our family, yes?”

She’s pointing at Platy.

“I concluded as such! Thou art quite the witch, being able to alter thy appearance with potions! As recognition of thy ability and as thanks for today, I shalt bestow upon thee ‘Mother Flote Goddess’ Blessing!”

Platy’s body absorbs the light emitting from Amphitrite’s palm.

“W-Wow… I can feel that I’ve been given something incredible…”

Even Platy couldn’t hide her amazement.

“Don’t worry, mine own blessing is not limited as with Hades’!”
“Good now, I am next…”

The next goddess that spoke had jet-black, shiny, beautiful hair, in contrast to Amphitrite.
It makes you think of the sea at night with her wavy black hair.

“I also hast a particular witch in mind… Thee.”
“Huh? Me?!”

The black-haired goddess chose Puffer, Witch of the Bitter Cold.

“…I can foresee that thee shall support a dutiful sir one of these days. Hence, I, Medusa, shalt bestow upon thee ‘The Flote Consort’s Blessing.’”

Puffer then absorbs the beam of light from the goddess.

“I’m grateful for whatever that was given to me, but… What’s this about ‘supporting a dutiful man?!’”

The gods continued to pick particular people they liked and gave them all sorts of blessings.

“You there, orc. I do sense a spark of righteousness in thine eyes that I discern. I, Radamanthys, judge of the underworld, shalt grant thee the power to seeth through a person’s intent.”
“You seem tough for a demon! I, Orion, god of hunting, shalt bestow upon thee the power to read the stars!”
“You must verily be elves. I, Hypnos, shalt grant thee sleep that shall sootheth thee twice the better.”

And so on.

The rest of the deities gave whatever they wanted to whomever they wanted and paid their bill their own way.

“Well then, children of men, thou did truly satisfy us gods. Nothing engenders our bliss more than seeing such good-hearted children as thyselves walking upon the lands of this earth.”

After saying that, the gods vanished and returned to their realm.
Now that it’s over, all that had happened was so astonishing that it makes me wonder if any of it was real.

After the ruckus that swept us like a violent storm, what we got was…

“Hey, Dear, for some reason, I’m brimming with knowledge of potions that I never knew about before.”
“I can invoke more magic in my potions now!”
“Is it just me, or am I running way faster than before?”

A drastic power-up for all our residents.

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2 years ago

You get a blessing! You get a blessing! EVERYONE GETS A BLESSING!
Except Zeus. F*ck that guy.

1 year ago
Reply to  derpcherp

Yeah fuck that guy. But not literally. He might enjoy it

Black Platino
2 years ago

This is so painful to read being someone who’s first language is Spanish and format talk a perfect English. What a relief that the group of gods went home already, hope they don’t come back for a while or at least just in small numbers

2 years ago

Thanks for the chapter.

Clarification: I see that you are using “yond” as a full replacement of “that”, but that’s incorrect in most cases. When “that” is a relative, e.g. “a thing that I know”, “yond” has no relation to it (same way as “this” also doesn’t). It is a “replacement”, although partial, when “that” is a demonstrative (that is, it’s opposed to “this”); to be more specific, “this”, “that” and “yond” form a scale of distance, with “this” being near (partnered with “here”), “that” being neither near nor far (or, alternatively, close to the listener but not to the speaker, partnered with “there”) and “yond” (also “yonne”) being far away (in the beYOND or “way over there”, partnered with “yonder”).

2 years ago
Reply to  jorgelotr

I was like “what the heck am I reading”, but I still ready anyway.

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