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ITK C137: Gods’ Banquet

It’s time.
Today’s the day for me to present my culinary masterpiece to Poseidon, God of the Seas.

“I’ve arrived, Lord Saint.”
“I’m counting on you, Sensei.”

Sensei the Lifeless King has arrived to summon the gods.
He’s benefitting from this role as it allows him to do his hobby without hesitation.

“The gods seem to have received the news as well and are currently on standby to be summoned from the divine realm. I’ve also received a list of gods who wish to be summoned in the oracle.”
“A list?!”

Does that mean Hades and Poseidon, the gods that came last time, won’t be the only ones descending?!

“It seems to be that way…”

I received the piece of paper from Sensei and saw the countless names of gods listed on it.

Interested Earth Gods & Goddesses Who Wish to be Summoned:

Interested Sea Gods & Goddesses Who Wish to be Summoned:

“Aren’t there way too many of them?!”
“We have Hades and Poseidon, two of the Three Realm Deities, their wife and children, retainers, and adulterous lovers along with their children.”

But why are their wives, children, retainers, unfaithful partners, and their children also included?
Isn’t it just supposed to be Hades and Poseidon?

“That just shows how much you’re becoming a celebrity among the gods, Lord Saint. Without further ado, I’ll summon them. Hyup!”

After Sensei chanted his incantation, a lineup of eminent beings appeared.

There were more than ten gods at once.
Their presence made our farm look so solemn; you’d start to think this was some gathering of the gods.

“O’ visitor from another world who shall impart unknown knowledge to this world, your continuous efforts art commendable.”

Oh no, that’s not it at all.
Plus, there’s no way I can ignore a god’s wish.

We’re now familiar with Hades, God of the Underworld, and Poseidon, God of the Seas, but today, we have other gods and goddesses with us.

For example, the two goddesses over there.

“Demeter! How has’t thee been?”
“As liflic as ever, Amphitrite. Mayhaps, even Poseidon, wouldst not have the leisure to indulge in an affair by now?”
“Nay! He’s promiscuous as he can get! That gent be not as big of a fool as Zeus, though. I envy thy husband’s devoted spirit!”

The other gods from both the earth and the seas seem to have not heard from each other in a long while and are amicably renewing their old friendships.
They’ve started their get-together at our farm.

“Wait a minute!”

In the midst of all this, there was one person among us mortals who triumphantly spoke up.

Their bold statement made me turn around, thinking, “Who has the gall to talk like that to the gods?” But of course, it was Letasreit, the princess of the Human Kingdom, who recently started living with us. She raised her hand in vehement objection.
I guess the human princess would have the gall.
She said fumingly, “Why isn’t the god of the heavens who protect our race not here when there’s a huge gathering of the earth and the sea deities?! Where’s our guardian deity, Zeus?!”

Now that she mentioned it, having one person missing from the Three Realm Deities just doesn’t feel right.

“If I get to see Zeus in person and bring to his attention the plight of the human race, I’m sure he would send some help one way or another! But he’s not here! The earth and sea gods here, but not the one god we need the most!!!”

Letasreit seemed angry about that specific point.

Hades, the God of the Underworld, and Poseidon, God of the Seas, say in response, “Nary a one loves that gent, so we didst not deem to invite Zeus.”
“Correct. That gent is just going to boorishly crash this party, so we didst not invite Zeus.”

They were blunt through and through.

“Zeus is selfish and egotistical. That gent gets angry if’t be true that one doesn’t receiveth the most wondrous treatment, and if’t be true things don’t wend his way, he’d proceed in running amok.”
“If Zeus were privy of this Elysium, he’d wantonly ordain this place his exclusive sanctuary, so we will never ever countenance inviting that gent.”

I could feel the honesty of their resolute intentions.


After hearing that, Letasreit ran off crying.
Let’s just leave her alone.

The gods are the stars of today’s show.

“Good now, attention, everyone!” says Poseidon as he takes the lead and gathers everyone’s attention.

He seems to have quite a bossy personality.

“We give thee our thanks for gathering at today’s Specialty Recognition Ceremony prepareth by the otherworlder under mine own sponsorship! We art deities of the earth and flote with whom we all nary have opportune for much contact, so alloweth us all to advantage our chance meeting to make merry to our heart’s content and forge deeper bonds with one another!”

Luckily, he’s doing great as the host.

“However, prithee not forget the purpose of this cierr! Our most wondrous otherworlder here with us this day shall serve us delicacies that hence shall roar across the earth and the flotes through mine own decree! I shall bestow praise and honor after we have fully relished his feast!”
“Um… Please don’t raise the bar too high!”

If this were a manga, it’d be one of those tropes that will bring down the protagonist after praising him to the skies.

“Well, otherworlder, do show presently thy did finish that dish of yours, hm? Thee und’rstand, right? We did cometh here after hearing the news!”
“I understand, Your Mightiness!!!”

Poseidon, welling with excitement, rushed me to offer him the cod roe I had prepared.
Soaked in the red pepper’s extract, it glows red in color.

“It’s spicy cod roe.”
“W-What is this?!”

It seems even the gods were surprised by the appearance of a dish they’d never seen before.

“I did verily expect some kind of fish-based dish! Instead, we receiveth this red, slim, and squishy thing… How off-putting! I can’t even discern what this does suppose itself to be!”
“Please give it a try.”

Poseidon, though confused, grabbed the spicy cod roe with the chopsticks I gave him.

“Oh… It’s surprisingly easy to incise!”

He sure can use the chopsticks well.

“Be these tiny grains inside…eggs?! There art hundreds and thousands of gudgeon roe clumped together!”

He stops reviewing its appearance and finally takes a piece of cod roe into his mouth.


Thank goodness he liked it!
I thought I was going to humiliate myself after he raised the bar too high, so I was anxious until the very last minute, but thank goodness this world isn’t ruled by cliches like that!

“I also made kamaboko from the remaining parts of the fish. Please, have it with your cod roe.”

Try it with some soy sauce, if you like.
I’d like to add wasabi, but our farm still can’t produce that.

“Vaaaalorous!!! This one is valorous as well!”


“This gets a passing grade, most certes! Both the cod roe and the kamaboko shall truly be regarded as the food of the gods from nou on.”

Please stop overusing that.
Rather than savoring cod roe on its own, it tastes even better when eaten with rice or spread on bread, or mixed together with pasta. The strength of spicy cod roe lies in its compatibility to go with all sorts of food!

We still can’t make pasta at our farm, though.

“I’ve prepared more such dishes, so please enjoy them, everyone.”
“Thee leaveth nothing that one might desire, O’ otherworlder! With the countenance of god, I officially declare thee a saint! Quaff freely, gods, and maketh merry! We art celebrating this saint!”

Inspired by Poseidon’s ecstatic words, everyone starts livening up.

“Give me this cod roe thing, too!!!”
“What I desireth to consume is the bamboo-shoot rice so highly praised by Hades!”
“Actually, I seek to consume all of those dishes! Bring them hither!!!”

And so, all the gods started demanding their preferred food.

Hold up.

Am I supposed to entertain all of them?

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7 months ago

He should be able to make pasta at this point. All other requires is egg wheat flour and salt all things he has in abundance by now. Albeit it would be tough work

9 months ago

Kidan’s real patron belongs to wrong divine family: neither of earth nor sea. You can blame the confidentiality clause self-imposed by them on themselves, because they know he wouldn’t be able to keep this place a secret from his father.

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2 years ago

So Lettuce-hime was there all along…

2 years ago

Every party needs a pooper, but they didn’t even bother inviting him! XD

2 years ago
Reply to  derpcherp

Shame Kidan’s real patron didn’t get an invite.

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